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LONDON — Tony Blair is to make his first return to British politics since slithering away as PM, to campaign for the Labour party in an upcoming general election, a newspaper reported Wednesday.
“We want all the party’s leadership — past and present — to be contributing to our electoral success,” his close ‘friend’ the un-elected Business Minister Peter ‘Cardinal Richelieu’ Mandelson told the Daily Mirror.
“They know as well as everyone what is at stake for the country.
Blair has kept out of the country’s politics since quitting in 2007(even though it was Gordon Brown who sold 60% of Britain’s Gold Reserve at rock bottom prices thus costing the UK £3 Billion) but will return in a desperate bid to help Labour salvage victory (LOL) in an election expected in May, which the party will spectacularly lose.
“Everyone will get stuck in,” hoped Mandelson, winking. Blair would be one of a number of Labour veterans returning for the campaign, since nobody knows who the fuck most of the present Labour party is.
The news came ahead of Blair’s appearance at a public inquiry into the Iraq war on Friday, where he will lie like a fuckin’ rug (and should be beaten like one too)
Mandelson said he would not bet on a Labour win at the looming poll — but insisted it was “not too late” for the party to gain slightly more credibility than a repeat-offender pedophile.
Labour is trailing the Conservatives by a wide margin in polls, this margin is said to need 3 Supercomputers toiling for months to calculate.
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