Doha, Qatar – The Best Little Barren Westland in the Middle East – Part 1

Qatar is a very small backwoods, apocalyptic hot Middle Eastern country that is surrounded on 3 sides by water and sticks out like a limp cock into the Persian Gulf. Its only claim to fame is the notorious Al Jazara news station that will air any video tape filmed by some whack job terrorist while he kills some poor guy on his knees. And it was the staging area for the US during Gulf War part (Part 3 Coming Soon!).

Qatar is also sitting on the largest natural gas reserve in the world that is sold to the highest bidder. Jews, Christians, Pizza Delivery Boys, it doesn’t matter to them as long as they make enough money to squander on cars, boats and vacations in Bangkok, gee I wonder what they do there? Well shit, probably the same thing I do.

As recently as 10 years ago Qatar was a poor country whose main export was sub-standard pearls, ugly belly dancers and sand until.. Dun, Dun, Dun! They (well people from the UK) found the mother-load of gas and oil sitting underneath the barren sand-filled and camel shit covered desert, and deep in the polluted waters offshore.

After making billions and billions and (yes) even more billions of dollars from that sweet black gold the government immediately started giving every citizen in the country an allowance (read: Welfare). But don’t worry! The Emir didn’t give all the money away, he bought himself a 60 Million dollar yacht, built a billion dollars worth of houses around the world and spent 37 dollars and 12 cents on infrastructure, education and health care for his country. Good job Dude! You now have a country full of arrogant, rude, uneducated and lazy people that treat anyone that’s not from Qatar like shit.

And no I am not exaggerating, the locals think that they are the center of the universe. It is the only country that I have ever been to that people will literally ram your car off the road because you drove past them (how dare you challenge me!) and you will get arrested because you damaged their car (I dented my car ramming him off the road Judge, he must pay). The citizens have a sort of unsaid but understood Carte Blanch and are not responsible for their own actions no matter what they do (Rape, Murder, Assault, ect.).

When the locals aren’t too busy beating their Philipino maids, getting drunk at the local hotel bars and generally being assholes they usually wander around the City Center Mall wondering “How do they get those little people into the plastic boxes” that are on sale at the Sony store.

Besides oil, incompetent leaders and rude citizens, Qatar has a couple of shopping malls, a Chilli’s Restaurant that doesn’t sell alcohol (WTF!!), a Starbucks (great place to meet Qatar Airways Stewardesses), several filthy outdoor shopping areas and sand that is so useless they have to import more sand from Saudi Arabia just to make their tacky concrete homes with.

Qatar has never done anything significant in past or current history, there are no pyramids, accent battlefields or modern skyscrapers. Basically Qatar is nothing and when the oil runs out and all the Expats leave, it will be a nothing again.

Anyway, that’s the quick and dirty history of Qatar. If you ever get a chance to go, don’t – go to Dubai instead.

Article and Photos by: James Grey

This is “Part 1” of a 3 part series based on my experiences living in Doha, Qatar for a little over 4 years.

Many parts of this article are presented in a Tongue in Cheek fashion based on my experiences while living in Qatar for a little over 4 years. If you are extremely sensitive of if you are a Politically Correct Hippie- then too dang bad, go read Backpacker Magazine or Cosmo and choke on a granola bar…

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About the Author/Photographer Â

James Grey is a self proclaimed Professional Adventurer and Expat Bar Braggart. Raised in a small crappy town in Virginia USA, James decided to chuck it all in after watching Indiana Jones too many times, and ventured out into the world to seek Fortune, Glory and Exotic Women.

James’s spotty international career choices have included jobs as a Civilian Contractor in the Middle East and Southeast Asia, a Hunting Guide and Wilderness Instructor in Indonesia and various other international ventures (if there is a way to make money overseas then James has done it… twice).

James has lived in the Middle East, Southeast Asia and travels extensively throughout the world preferring to visit and study 3rd world and developing countries, but still occasionally stops off in Paris and Amsterdam for a taste of civilized society and other indulgences. He is currently a Civilian Contractor working as an Engineer in Iraq and spends his off time at his homes in Virginia, USA and Jakarta, Indonesia.

You can contact James at: jamesintheworld@gmail.com or at his website www.CivilianContractorJobs.com

  17 comments for “Doha, Qatar – The Best Little Barren Westland in the Middle East – Part 1

  1. John Smith
    July 15, 2007 at 2:34 am

    That was the best article that I have ever read in my entire life

    James is the coolest and most handsome person in the entire world. I only hope that I can be like him someday

  2. July 16, 2007 at 9:48 am

    Cool post James! Thanks for that.

    Looking forward to more from your “trials and tribulations”.
    Something with the same approach on Irawk would be tres cool!

    Hey John what’s it take to be a member of the “Fan club”?

  3. Chimpy McFlightsuit
    July 17, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    When I grow up I wanna be just like James. James is a cool dude.

  4. hippie chick
    July 20, 2007 at 1:36 am

    hippy means you have wide hips

    if you are going to make fun of hippies do it right!!

  5. July 20, 2007 at 12:33 pm

    What are you talking about? Are you high?

    Just Say No…

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  6. hippie chick
    July 29, 2007 at 7:03 am

    lern how too spel

  7. September 12, 2007 at 3:11 pm

    Sad but true – I met a USAF Lt at Camp Doha who had no idea where on the planet he was. When shown a map he could not point to the Middle East let alone Qatar, let alone Camp Doha. Said he had climbed into a Starlifter five months earlier and gotten out at the other end – none the wiser for the trip or destination. I hope he was an exception.

  8. DIRTY D
    June 19, 2008 at 7:55 pm

    hehee quite interesting article, im researchin Qatar right now very interested in knowing more about this place! I guess i will never kow until i go ther mysef for sures, but very informative and great!!!!!

  9. CFC
    June 29, 2008 at 1:04 pm

    Pretty damn good assessment of the place. It is the fucking pits. Dubai is only marginally better because there are a few more hotels and shopping malls (whoop-ee-fucking-doo), but it is still full of arrogant, simple-minded twats who see all expats as their fucking servants.

    The driving is unbelievable. I saw a burned-out Land Cruiser on the way to work today and laughed my fucking head off. If only more of the cunts would crash. I can’t wait until the oil runs out and these morons go back to living in tents with their camels.

    I am a card-carrying liberal and this place has made me a racist. Fuck it!

    *and breathe*

  10. Dick Stuart
    August 22, 2008 at 10:26 am

    I’ve been living in Qatar for almost 10 years now, And im still enjoying it, nothing that this guy has mentioned is true. He probally got fired from his job and came here crying. lol

  11. James
    November 8, 2008 at 9:12 pm

    Sorry Dick but everything I wrote is 100% based on my personal experiences living and working in Qatar

    I did not get fired, I continued working for the same company for 3 more years after I transferred to another country, I now do consulting work with them sometimes.

    I figure that you are one of 2 people here:

    1. You are a white western expat on a HUGE Mid 6-figsExpat Package – you only come into contact with other Mid 6-figsExpat Package Expats on your weakly visits to the country club in your BMW driven by one of the poor Indian workers that are treated like slaves. The only Qataris you ever come in contact with are the ones that live in the same 17K a month Expat serviced Condo that your company put you up in, and maybe a few western educated Qataris or High Ranking government and industry folks that are nice to you because your company pays some cousin of the king 500K a year to act as their local Qatari sponsor.

    2. You are a Qatari

    Basically you are full of shit so Fuck You

    ~

  12. Mari.
    September 10, 2009 at 4:27 am

    Qatari people is soo kind and polite ..

    I live there since 1992 … It’s the best years of ma life , also i have Qatari friends .. They r A TRUE friends

    Luv QATAR .. :)

  13. NoNo
    September 10, 2009 at 4:36 am

    that is true , i agree with Mari
    They are nice people ,what the article says is totally and completely wrong , and sure the young boyz do crayz things with “Cars” but they are teenagers

    Don’t judge people

    Good job , Mari..

  14. Abdulrahman
    December 6, 2009 at 10:39 pm

    Ohhh…man, I was shocked about what you wrote here :S

    none… of what you said here is true as if I know, I can say that you’ve had a bad experiance with some Qatari dudes that ended awfully :P, but your fingers aren’t the same.

    I wish you still in Qatar, I’d like to have a cup of arabian coffee with you to discussed theses nasty thoughts about Qatar that you have. :D

    Seriously man, most of the facts you said here are totally wrong, starting with the one you said they discovered oil 10 years ago, its actually 60 years ago, and Qatar had their fully dependence in 1971 from UK, and they have had several wars with Al-Ottamaineen, and Bahrain and Iran and oil was one of the issue that resulted in wars, Fortunately they won it all :D.

    And the part you said that Qataris are not educated, its completely wrong, we have 5 different American Universities ranked as Tire 1 colleges in the world, I’d like to mention Texas A&M for engineering, George Town… and a few more, for your information that there colleges are filled by 60% of Qatari citizens.

    People seems to like you here in this site, I don’t really know why you hate Qatar this much, but I bet that the salary you’ve made in Qatar is by far better than anywhere else in the world.

    Well, hope you good luck with your adventures, and don’t forget my cup of arabian coffee offer!

  15. mohammed
    April 28, 2010 at 12:34 am

    hello…

    i think you have the wrong idea about qatar …… i agree with abdulrahman.
    iam from qatar but i study in the uk sometimes i hate it here but because itis different

    you probeply has a salary that you donot even dream about in your own country….

    moreover don’t mention aljazzera without looking at what happens in guantanamo or in palastine…

  16. Fletch
    December 4, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Dear All

    I have a job offer in Qatar and have read some varied reports about the country, peoples etc. I dont know what to think, and would appreciate any advice on what it is really like. Although I am excited, I am also apprehensive. Personally, I believe that life is normally a reflection of yourself…i.e.if you are good/ friendly etc. , then you will see the world in the same way. Any real unbiased advice would be really appreciated.

  17. John
    March 13, 2013 at 8:25 am

    FUCK YOU YOU MOTHERFUCKIN SON OF A BITCH, YOUR JELOUS AS FUCK BECAUSE OF OUR OIL AND GAS, YOU CAN GO SUCK YOUR MOMS DICK YOU HAIRY LITTLE CUNT, YOU’VE GOT NOTHING ELSE TO DO BUT CRITICIZE OTHER PEOPLE’S COUNTRIES. VIVA LA PALESTINE MOTHAFUGGA

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