Doha, Qatar – The Best Little Barren Westland in the Middle East – Part 1

Qatar is a very small backwoods, apocalyptic hot Middle Eastern country that is surrounded on 3 sides by water and sticks out like a limp cock into the Persian Gulf. Its only claim to fame is the notorious Al Jazara news station that will air any video tape filmed by some whack job terrorist while he kills some poor guy on his knees. And it was the staging area for the US during Gulf War part (Part 3 Coming Soon!).

Qatar is also sitting on the largest natural gas reserve in the world that is sold to the highest bidder. Jews, Christians, Pizza Delivery Boys, it doesn’t matter to them as long as they make enough money to squander on cars, boats and vacations in Bangkok, gee I wonder what they do there? Well shit, probably the same thing I do.

As recently as 10 years ago Qatar was a poor country whose main export was sub-standard pearls, ugly belly dancers and sand until.. Dun, Dun, Dun! They (well people from the UK) found the mother-load of gas and oil sitting underneath the barren sand-filled and camel shit covered desert, and deep in the polluted waters offshore.

After making billions and billions and (yes) even more billions of dollars from that sweet black gold the government immediately started giving every citizen in the country an allowance (read: Welfare). But don’t worry! The Emir didn’t give all the money away, he bought himself a 60 Million dollar yacht, built a billion dollars worth of houses around the world and spent 37 dollars and 12 cents on infrastructure, education and health care for his country. Good job Dude! You now have a country full of arrogant, rude, uneducated and lazy people that treat anyone that’s not from Qatar like shit.

And no I am not exaggerating, the locals think that they are the center of the universe. It is the only country that I have ever been to that people will literally ram your car off the road because you drove past them (how dare you challenge me!) and you will get arrested because you damaged their car (I dented my car ramming him off the road Judge, he must pay). The citizens have a sort of unsaid but understood Carte Blanch and are not responsible for their own actions no matter what they do (Rape, Murder, Assault, ect.).

When the locals aren’t too busy beating their Philipino maids, getting drunk at the local hotel bars and generally being assholes they usually wander around the City Center Mall wondering “How do they get those little people into the plastic boxes” that are on sale at the Sony store.

Besides oil, incompetent leaders and rude citizens, Qatar has a couple of shopping malls, a Chilli’s Restaurant that doesn’t sell alcohol (WTF!!), a Starbucks (great place to meet Qatar Airways Stewardesses), several filthy outdoor shopping areas and sand that is so useless they have to import more sand from Saudi Arabia just to make their tacky concrete homes with.

Qatar has never done anything significant in past or current history, there are no pyramids, accent battlefields or modern skyscrapers. Basically Qatar is nothing and when the oil runs out and all the Expats leave, it will be a nothing again.

Anyway, that’s the quick and dirty history of Qatar. If you ever get a chance to go, don’t – go to Dubai instead.

Article and Photos by: James Grey

This is “Part 1” of a 3 part series based on my experiences living in Doha, Qatar for a little over 4 years.

Many parts of this article are presented in a Tongue in Cheek fashion based on my experiences while living in Qatar for a little over 4 years. If you are extremely sensitive of if you are a Politically Correct Hippie- then too dang bad, go read Backpacker Magazine or Cosmo and choke on a granola bar…

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About the Author/Photographer Â

James Grey is a self proclaimed Professional Adventurer and Expat Bar Braggart. Raised in a small crappy town in Virginia USA, James decided to chuck it all in after watching Indiana Jones too many times, and ventured out into the world to seek Fortune, Glory and Exotic Women.

James’s spotty international career choices have included jobs as a Civilian Contractor in the Middle East and Southeast Asia, a Hunting Guide and Wilderness Instructor in Indonesia and various other international ventures (if there is a way to make money overseas then James has done it… twice).

James has lived in the Middle East, Southeast Asia and travels extensively throughout the world preferring to visit and study 3rd world and developing countries, but still occasionally stops off in Paris and Amsterdam for a taste of civilized society and other indulgences. He is currently a Civilian Contractor working as an Engineer in Iraq and spends his off time at his homes in Virginia, USA and Jakarta, Indonesia.

You can contact James at: jamesintheworld@gmail.com or at his website www.CivilianContractorJobs.com

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